I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
