Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
Somewhere out there, on several phones belonging to strangers, exists a video of me rapping Baby Got Back on stage in four inch heels that I stole from the drag queen. Also I made out with the chick with the octopus tattoo.
You have the best birthdays
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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