You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
Randomize
