i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
Randomize
