Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
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