he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
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