I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
