I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
only if we run a train.
done.
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
Randomize