I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
i think i have two assholes
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
Randomize
