I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
Randomize
