Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Randomize
