so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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