pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
Randomize
