I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
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