when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
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