nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
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