you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
Randomize
