Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
Randomize
