she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
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