I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
