Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
