Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
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