so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
Randomize
