Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
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