i just found a plastic monkey in my sweatshirt pocket
Umm I had a plastic mermaid in my pants......
Really
You win
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
Randomize
