If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
Randomize
