it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
