i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
Randomize
