just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
Randomize
