Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
