Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
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