For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
false alarm, still single
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
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