perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
