do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
Randomize
