i already hear my dad disowning me
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
