I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
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