I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
should my penis look like a turkey
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
Randomize