You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize