I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Randomize