The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
Randomize
