I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
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