Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
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