I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
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