I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
Randomize
