ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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