Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
false alarm, still single
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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