I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
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