I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
Randomize
