playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Randomize
