So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
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