If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
