It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
Randomize