just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
Randomize
