WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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