what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize
