People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
Randomize
