Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
Randomize
