my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize
