Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
