YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
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