Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
