so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
this boner is exhausting
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
Randomize