hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
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