you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
it hurts more in the daytime
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
Randomize
