I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
