There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
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