i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
false alarm, still single
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
Randomize
