Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
Randomize
