After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
I supernannyed him into submission
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
Randomize