Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
Randomize
