This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
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