He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
Bring me that man meat
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
Randomize
