as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
Randomize
