Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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