please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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